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I was addicted to escaping my emptiness...

By Ming Moore February 27, 2020

I was addicted to escaping my emptiness.⠀

This photo was taken 6 years ago. It looks like I was having a blast, but I actually was feeling quite empty.⠀

I didn't know why I was so depressed, even with success in business. I was living lavishly. I always traveled and got whatever material thing I wanted or any man I wanted.⠀

Even though I was surrounded by friends and family, I felt empty and alone.⠀

So, as a human being, whenever I felt a negative emotion, I wanted to fight it. I wanted to run away from the pain because it was too uncomfortable to deal with.⠀

So I would drink. Do drugs. Fuck around. In a matter of moments, I alter my emotions and distract myself from unwanted feelings inside. I got addicted to escaping.⠀

And one day I woke up and realized that no battle was ever won by people who run.⠀

And that's when my journey to becoming the better version of myself started. I started to question why I feel the way that I feel, where the pain in my physical body is (and really feeling the pain and not judging it--- for example with my panic attack episodes back then), where it's coming from, understanding a different perspective of the events that happened that creates pain and triggers, forgiving my past, and focusing on creating the future that I want for ME, not for anybody else.⠀

Remember, when your life is over and you can't rely on your external world to define who you are, you will be left with feelings you never addressed. As a soul experiencing a lifetime of choices, you would not have evolved as a human being.⠀

If this sounds familiar, I wanted to share it so you can start your journey to healing. To growing. To live the best life you can ever ask for because ultimately, your life is yours to live. And if you're living in pain, if you're living in darkness, just know that there is a way out.


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